The moment we all changed. Where to begin?

I'm not sure many of you who read this in the future will really know exactly what has happened to our part of the world. Friday 15th March will forever be remember here in New Zealand as one of our most darkest days. One man decided he would take it upon himself to end the lives of 50 humans who were praying at their place of worship, two mosques in Christchurch. This white-supremacist murderer took a semi-automatic weapon, which was not illegal to own, and used it for exactly it's design. To kill on mass, and at speed. There is no other purpose for these instruments of death, and anyone who claims they "have" to have one, is insane. I have said before on my personal Facebook page that I am not a fan of guns. I cannot see the point of needing one. I know that statement in itself will upset some people straight away. I don't get the hunting culture either. To me, it's not about survival, it's about the thrill of the kill. And there are accidents just waiting to happen, with deadly consequences.

In the wake of the shootings, the outpouring level of support for the muslim community and public outcry has been way beyond anything that I can truly comprehend. The damage these acts of terrorism has done has way more effects than the obvious ones. The families, friends and direct communities have lost 50 of their people in a horrific act. The country has come together to support this devastated community. Their loss will be felt for generations. Now there is the step up in security in these places of worship. There is also the layered effects it has on a society as a whole. I now question my safety on my normal path to work. I go past my local mosque almost everyday with it being about 1500m from where I am staying at present. On Monday there were 3 police officers at the gate, one with their semi-automatic rifle and the other two had holstered pistols on their hips. Our police force do not carry such weapons on their person while on duty. This is an unsettling sight indeed. Now do I take a different route because I am afraid of potentially being caught in crossfire? Is there going to be retribution from extremist who just needed their own perceived "just" cause to inflict hurt back upon the "perceived community" the shooter came from? And what happens to the local muslim community if people begin to alter their normal behaviours? Do they become isolated? Do they withdraw themselves from the wider community? Do they become paranoid and defensive? There are so many various ways one could look at this.

The one lasting thought I have is the way we lived here in New Zealand. We jokingly laugh about being left off of world maps. That itself giving us more isolation of the violence often seen from the news agencies from USA, Europe, the Middle East, Africa and former Soviet States. The gun violence, the warring, the anger and intolerance of other people. For us to expect this type of violence is unfathomable. New Zealand is not perfect, but it is a pretty special place to live. The climate is milder than most parts of the Northern Hemisphere. The quality of life is pretty good. The people are, for the most part, nice, polite and supportive of each other. But just like anywhere in the world, their are people with views and opinions that create division and there is the worst parts of human behaviours. Greed, jealousy, paranoia, intolerance, anger and violence. While we all thought we were immune to the violence the rest of the world experienced, we naively harboured an environment that allowed someone with such a radical belief, they were able to exact their murderous campaign on innocent people. I have had many conversations and heard many quotes from people since last week. There was one that struck me and it was from a child who went to church to pray. This child said to their mother while they were all praying "Those people were just like we are now. Quietly praying to their god when they were killed." They were in a place of worship, a place of peace and of love when a monstrous person committed the most horrific crime in modern times in the shores of this country. And was proud to put this despicable act on live streaming forums. This arrogant extremist act has crushed us as a nation, and caused division amongst people who we classed once as friends as opinions rise to the surface about gun laws, politics, religious beliefs, oppression, white supremacists, violence, revenge and the expressions of sorrow, sympathy, empathy, horror etc.

(from Wikipedia - Stats for mass shootings in 2019)

I could not help but check the statistics on Wikipedia for the mass shootings in the USA for 2019. The image is what I found. What I find disturbing andis that we have heard almost nothing of these 77 killings in USA, and the most shocking is that they have a column for school shootings. While our country changes the law under emergency need for reform, a country built on the greed of big money values the dollar over human life. The world gets bombarded with American information, from TV, movies, news, sport etc. because they tend to be the most vocal and self inflated

about their importance to the rest of the world. "The top five biggest spenders were the United States, China, Saudi Arabia, Russia and India, which accounted for 60 percent of global military spending.The U.S. spent $610 billion on its military in 2017, a little over a third of world wide expenditures. Although U.S. spending has decreased from 2008 levels by 14 percent, it still spends 2.7 times more than the next highest spender, China." (Defensenews.com). No wonder there is a tolerance for guns. There is also the 2nd amendment regarding the "Right to bear arms" but the phrasing and intent has been bastardised for the needs of big money to lobby politicians to keep their pockets lined with their blood money. The actual text reads “A well-regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.” and it's intent is to have "groups of men who banded together to protect their communities, towns, colonies and eventually states, once the United States declared its independence from Great Britain in 1776." (hstory.com), or a foreign invader, not for people to have the right to carry guns around just for the sake of it.

Man is destined to continue to create divisions, to hurt one another. I have spoken in the past to my nature of being a mediator, a diplomatic type of person. I see things from a fairly objective position. I have been blessed with my life. I have lived in two different worlds. The world as a man, and the world as a woman. I do not believe I am some guru of knowledge, or some beacon to heal the world. I believe mankind is broken. There is too much history, too much hurt, hate, too many generations of conflict, oppression, greed etc. for the human condition to come together. I posted my thoughts on Facebook the day after the murders and I have put it below as I don't feel like I can capture the sentiments again.

(my Facebook post 16th March 2019)

It saddens me that one person's way of life makes them believe that it also invalidates anothers. I try not to judge something I do not understand. I try and educate myself before I make my own opinions.

I am not an advocate for guns, and I don't see the need for people to advertise with pride their exploits with such weapons. I know many of my friends are hunters and enjoy that, but I do not see the point of it. That is why I do not 👍 or comment on those pics.

I have naively lived in a country where such horrendous acts of violence seemed to be contained in broken countries where greed for the dollar outweighs the respect for another person. Being isolated at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean, on 2 islands somehow meant the hatred and such horrible acts were immune to us. I was so wrong 😢

Throughout my life I have been immune to most things with unconscious white male privilege. It took until I gave that up to be my authentic self to begin to wake up and see exactly how others suffer. A system that has no place in today's global community. I now have altered my behaviours for my own personal safety. I am more alert and aware of my surroundings, and make wiser decisions. Whenever a woman is attacked out running or walking, the knee jerk reaction is "why was she out alone" instead of the more imperative "what gave that man the right to believe he had the right to attack a woman."

I have strong opinions about what has happened to the world as western man expanded around the world and in "colonial expansion". I also have strong opinions about the ideology that this incessant need to indoctrinate the indigenous people to a western way of life in order to "educate" them to "the right" way to live.

I do not preach. I do not force my views onto others. I am happy to talk with people who will have open minded conversations about variations of points of views. I am not a big fan of religion historical, as people use religious beliefs to justify heinous acts on those who have different way of life. Fundamentally, religion should be about love and respect, but people use it to justify hate and exclusion. Religious conglomerates are no more than greedy veiled masks of mankind.

Humankind is fractured and it will only become united when there is an external force that threatens us all, and won't discriminate. And then it will only be a temporary alliance while the citizens of earth deal with that external threat. And man will simply rinse and repeat all of the mistakes that are written in our history books.

No one, absolutely no one deserves to be killed in a mass shooting. Hatred and greed is not how humans are supposed to be. And all it does in this digital, instant gratification way of life, is perpetuate. Let us show the world that this is not what we will tolerate at home OR abroad. It's time to stand united and break down the systems the greedy money hungry ologags who make up less then 1% of the planet's citizens that thrive on exploiting people's fear and insecurities.

I am sorry for my rant. My heart hurts today. I am afraid to drive or walk on the streets I felt safe using yesterday. And that is what these perpetrators want. To isolate those who are not the same as themselves.

Be safe everyone. And please do not let fear rule you/us.