Why do I tell people I'm a trans woman and not simply a woman

Why do I tell people I'm a trans woman and not simply a woman? I have been asked this a handful of times and it did get me thinking. It goes to the other questions I was asked also, "Why does every trans person I meet tell me that they are trans? How can they be seen as just a woman (or man) when they are introducing themselves as trans? It's like the comparison with [sic. many] vegans. They'll usually tell you that they are a vegan before they tell you their name". While I have differing replies to these questions, I do not profess to have all the answers and I cannot assume to talk about everyone's perception. I can only give my interpretation and my opinion on this. One such answer was, "I bet you anything that there are many transgender people you interact with constantly and would never know it, because they don't mention it, so not every trans person will tell you." So why do I tell people and why do I see myself as a trans-woman and not a woman?

For me, part of the definition of the word "transgender" is a description of transitioning from one gender to another, or transitioning away for the gender assigned at birth. The other way I interpret the word transgender, is someone who identifies as the opposite gender to that which we are assigned at birth and has begun to live their new reality. My interpretation of the term "non-binary" is those who identify anywhere in between of the extremities of trans-female or trans-male. These are my opinions, and these are also not how everyone else defines these terms. I do not wish to offend anyone who has a differing opinion of their definitions of any of the words, and meanings. The way you interpret them is your truth, no one else's.

At this moment in time, in my stage of my life, I feel that I tell people I am a trans-woman partially as a defense mechanism, or potentially as an apology. This mindset comes from my personally insecurities regarding my appearance, my dysphoria, the dis-morphia and my paranoia. I have written how some days I really struggle to make it out the door due to my appearance. Some days I feel great and feminine, other days I feel very androgynous and I have anxieties and insecurities eating away at my confidence. Those days I tend to feel I need that buffer zone, that safety net. Those are the times when I feel like I've preset a reaction by being up front with telling those people I am a transgender woman. It is a sort of "don't be mean to me, I am trying my best here so please be kind if I don't pass today" buffer. Possibly this is done out of fear of being ridiculed, bullied or even attacked. I constantly get told that I shouldn't worry about that, but everyone has insecurities with themselves. These are mine.

There is also those who are proud to be called transgender. They wear the name with pride. It is their identity. It is their story and what they went through to become the person they are now. Also these people tend to be more giving in the community. They want to help and nurture those who are struggling to become at peace with themselves. I have spoken to many many trans people and almost all are very active in the community in the early years, and as they become more removed from their old identity, this engagement fades. Those that stay actively involved in the community with their work are those that provided reassurance that the struggles can be overcome and be successful and happy in life. The thing is that everyone has been through the dark, and still have dark moments in their world.

There is one woman in my local community that I have spoken to a few times. She is stunning, gorgeous, successful, married and for the most part, happy. There were times she wasn't so happy. She used to think that the next procedure would make her feel more like a woman, the next one, and got all but addicted to the plastic surgery carousel to find the woman she desperately wanted to be. Now she is more at peace within herself though every time she sees a pregnant woman, she does get upset that she will never be able to experience that part of life. These things do not show on the surface, and these can be just one of a number of reasons why anyone chooses the world to known oneself as a trans-woman.

For me I do believe that I identify as trans-woman right now as I learn to accept myself and learn to live in the world as a woman. I have my hurdles to overcome, my fears and I need to learn to accept myself as I am right now. This is where I am right now, but I also believe I won't always be stuck in this "trans"-itional phase. I no longer can see the old me except in photos, but I don't always see the new me in the mirror or recent photos. The further away I get from my old life, the residue from that life will fade and there will only be this amazing and beautiful version left for the world to see. One who is just existing in her truth and at peace within herself, not feeling she has to make excuses or apologies for how she presents.