FINALLY letting it all out (coming out)

Over the last few weeks, I've had to accept that my indecision of late is a wave that rises and recedes, away from and back into acceptance towards a sense of peace. I also learnt of another death of a friend's parent. I only knew him briefly as I entered my 20's, but this man was a really uniquely special human. He will be a huge lose to his family and those much closer to him than me. I went to support my friends, and my cousin. The funeral was a really nice service and it brought back a lot of memories from my past, and of my younger brother, who died 3 1/2 years ago. Some of these faces I hadn't seen since his funeral. It had made this last week quite challenging as I feel like I am grieving his death, and maybe more than I did 3 1/2 years ago.

With these heightened emotions, I have been bouncing back and forth on many thoughts and feelings. Internalizing my fears and doubts, taking in deep breaths, and getting into things I should or want to do. I focussed on my study and assignment. That itself was harder than I expected, but I am so happy I am doing something useful during my evenings. For those who might ask, I am currently doing entry course before moving onto psychology. I have been quite nervous before submitting the assignment, and relieved once I did. After the excitement passed, I then got super brave and made a Facebook post announcing on my old account that I am transgendered. I finally let it all out. I was extremely scared and tentative once I hit POST. I now feel freer still. I have had nothing but support from a lot of people. I really feel the love from everyone who has either "Liked" "Loved" or "Commented".

Also I went a step further and I have changed my profile on both my facebooks accounts to be the same picture. Now there is no hiding from my reality and I am glad. I don't have to carry a secret around that I always feel is under the surface ready to bust out at every conversation. I knew the dysphoria was only going to build and build, now I don't have to fear it. It's out and I am happier again. This was me, and this is now me. I exist and I am real.

I am Serah, I exist and I am transgendered. I love you all, and remember.

Stay Beautiful, and Be Amazing!!!