My birthday and fronting to my family

The last 4 weeks have been rocky with ups and downs. Last weekend was my birthday and it was the last one that the male part of my life will experience, and the first one I had as a woman. It was also the first meeting with any of my family. The easy part was my adopted family, my little brother's wife's family. They were super accepting, excited and very very welcoming. Hugs from everyone and the children were funny and so innocent. My nephews are 5 year old twins, a 3 year old, all who were so cute and they just straight out ask a question when confused, 100% accept the answer and just move on. I was greeted at the door by one of the twins, and he just said "You're Aunty Serah" with the cutest little smile, and gave me a hug and that was that. I am just Aunty Serah. The 3 year old was even better. We did a grocery run and when we were in the car, he asked "Are you a boy or a girl?" My answer to him was "A girl"..."OK" and that was that. Super innocent, super easy and that is that.

Adults, not so much. I gave my birth family enough time to accept and make plans and come and have dinner with us. I guess for some, that was too much for an initial visit. My first interaction with my parents was awkward, more so with my father than my mother. They decided they'd come at lunchtime and not the planned time, so I was out with my nieces. We ended up in a pop-up make-up shop and having lunch with their Aunt before heading back to the house for the moment of dread. The really uneasy hello's and 30 minutes of awkwardness with small chit chat, and an invite to call in on our way home the next day and they were off. Probably better that way than staying for hours. The rest of the day and night was a lot of fun, drinking and yacking. The next day, I was taken to Pagani and got to hang out as a girl, trying on dresses, pants, tops, skirts and just being girlie. It was so fun, spending a couple of hours in the changing rooms, with such supportive people, just trying pretty things on. The more relaxed I became, the more fun I had and just being the person I had wanted to be, being treated on my actual birthday as a woman, even as I am just learning how to be one. I also ended up having dinner with my older brother and his family a couple of days later. So now I have meet my immediate family, and my extended family is next. A more generalised public coming out is the next step.

Other than the weekend, I have been having some inner turmoil as the hormones begin to take affect. Now I have started double dosage of estrogen, I have found I am struggling a bit more mentally and emotionally, having anxiety problems as I adjust to my body chemicals redistribution. I feel like my 13 year old niece who is super body conscious and has fears about how we look. She has told me that I look like an older version of herself, which is so sweet. I have a real soft spot for her since she has been really unfortunate to have lost both her birth parents at young ages. Hopefully now that I am beginning to have more courage and self belief, I can foster my relationships with my family members, both birth and secondary family. I may have mentioned before that my younger brother passed away just over 3 years ago, and his wife's family have become close to me. They are like my sisters, even though I have been very stand-offish with everyone in my world. Now I am aware of why I isolated myself, and why I shied away from forming bonds with people, the new me is looking to build bridges and is ready to be part of a family.

Even though I am going through rocky times, I have settled in a new house, have great friends, and so far, been accepted by everyone, with very little negativity. I do get, and will always attract some questioning stares. All I need to do is not let things like that affect me and I'll be all sweet going out as I begin to become more comfortable in my own body.

Again, thanks for reading.

Serah X X X